Cookie Butter

“I will turn their mourning into joy, give them consolation and bring happiness out of grief.” –Jeremiah 31:13

I never understood this. Until I experienced it myself.

Some of you know, most of you don’t… a few months ago, I moved quite far away from home and on not much more than a whim. I was scared, but excited about all of the opportunities a big move could bring. While the details are for another day, almost immediately after the move, my biggest fear came to fruition—my spirit was crushed and I became overwhelmed with loneliness.

For the first time, I was in a situation I truly believed I couldn’t overcome—I didn’t even know how I was going to get out of bed in the mornings (my mom can attest). I was in an unfamiliar place with no friends, no family, nothing. I begged God to help me through it. Just to give me something, anything to restore hope.

…and He did. I began reading His word a lot more—really trying to understand the purpose behind my situation and how to move forward. By some literal miracle of God (and several donuts), I began to feel better. I had been certain it was going to take months, maybe more, to wake up without an overwhelming feeling of dread, but that feeling subsided quicker than I’d dared to pray for. I made friends, I found places that made me happy and started looking forward to things in my new city. So, I’m thinking, well dadgum, if He can console me and begin to restore hope so quickly in one of my most difficult times, He must have something far better planned.

I ran with that. I put my situation into perspective. It was just another step toward my life’s purpose and His plan for me. As someone with such a tight grip on the controls, I’m not sure I had ever completely given the reins over. I didn’t want to fully relinquish control, because I thought if I did, I wouldn’t end up with what I had envisioned for my life. For some reason, I had forgotten His plan for our lives is far more wonderful than anything we can imagine:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” –Jeremiah 29:11

He just wanted me to trust Him. It was a tough, but necessary lesson.

My situation brought me even closer to the one I needed the most—the one who had been there for me the entire time. He knew my heart’s desires, knew I would get through it and come out better for it on the other side. It’s not easy. I’m still working through it, but I’ve found a joy that lives deep down—that’s present in some small capacity, even on the hardest days. Root yourself in faith, and I promise you’ll find happiness and appreciation for the important things.

Peace n blessins. 🕊


3 thoughts on “Cookie Butter”

  1. I love this post, Taylor, especially this sentence: “I didn’t want to fully relinquish control, because I thought if I did, I wouldn’t end up with what I had envisioned for my life.” For better or worse, that hit a bullseye in me. The verse you followed it up with, Jer. 29:11, is a perfect “prescription” and also, one of my favorites!
    Thank you for your transparency. Keep the blog posts coming!

    Liked by 1 person

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